Should My Wannabe Content Creator Pal Cease Using Me for Content?

The Prosecution: One Friend's Perspective

Sometimes she films me while I’m eating. It's jarring to spot myself on her Instagram – it’s like a sudden shock.

My best friend of 10 years, she, labels herself the “content queen”. It can be amusing for a short while, but it weighs on our friendship.

She is an extrovert, she feels the need to record everything all the time. During meals out, her motto is, “The phone eats first,” and snaps pictures with bright lighting, which makes me cringe. I don’t like it when other people see her posing or filming – I experience vicarious awkwardness. It also frustrates me because meals lose their warmth.

She's not quite an influencer yet, but she is aspiring to become one. She makes vlogs about city life, her daily routine, and her styling career. Her content is good, credit where it's due, but I don’t want to be involved. On occasion she films me while I’m eating, or simply tagging along. Later, I appear on her feed afterwards, and it comes like a surprise: I might be no makeup on, an awkward face or be captured while eating. It’s uncomfortable.

Marielle also anticipates that I will to film her at inopportune moments. Often I'm in conversation to another person, or we're simply spending time in the street. The dynamic feels like our bond has transformed into me serving as her unpaid videographer. She has the means to hire someone if she wanted professional shots. When I brought up my discomfort about the situation, she dismissed it. I've been invited to several industry functions, which was nice, but that doesn’t make up for all the time and effort I invest helping her create material.

I appreciate that Marielle has supported me with my design career, but I resist our connection to become merely a tally of favours. I don't believe she’s fake or inauthentic, but sometimes it seems that if recording starts, we will start performing in a way that presents a favorable image for her channel.

Her directive is, “Alright, smile for the camera!” and film me laughing with another. It’s so silly. I need her to understand that our 10-year friendship still has boundaries. I enjoy being with her, but I also desire to enjoy it without being filmed, altered, or shared for an viewers. I’m not a accessory for her online persona.

The Defence: The Content Creator's View

I hope my friend to see that the content we produce together can get us an opportunity.

I am passionate about shooting content. It's more than a pastime; it’s part of who I am. Producing content and sharing my life online enables me to express myself and connect with people in novel forms.

I wouldn't label myself as a professional creator yet, but it’s smart to generate income from your interests. I look up to people on social platforms who pull off that style of informal, self-made film-making.

Content creation is my interpretation of engaging with life: observing the details, posting them with an viewership that values the art behind it. It's never my aim to make Beth uncomfortable. Bringing her to professional gatherings was my way of sharing opportunities, providing her a chance to witness exclusive moments that could help her professional path too. That isn't blackmail, it’s just being pragmatic.

I would take her to such functions even if she didn’t help me, but I want her to see the benefits the content we create together can get us: a foot in the door. I know not all people likes being filmed, but often spontaneity is what makes material authentic. Appearing on video from time to time is an inherent aspect of being my companion. I would delete anything she requested, but she hasn't made such a request yet.

I don’t expect anybody to be my private videographer, but companions help each other in minor capacities. I thought filming a short video now and then would be fun for Beth. Innovation thrives in collaboration, and having my friend around makes projects energetic and pleasurable. I don't compel her to participate in anything, and I’d never intentionally humiliate her. But creating content jointly occasionally is part of how I document our time together.

I value Beth’s friendship deeply and don’t want making videos to come between us. I am ready to find middle ground: like asking before filming, and avoiding angles that might make her uncomfortable.

This isn’t about control, it's regarding expressing my perspective while still considering hers. Clearly making content is not a replacement for real connection: it's merely part of how I live my life and I want her to be involved in a way that’s agreeable for each of us.

Outside Perspectives: Public Sentiment

Is it right for her to stop recording herself and Beth when they are out together?

Nothing is more excruciating than having a companion point a camera at you. I get that it's her job, but I don’t make friends come to my workplace. Perhaps she can find like-minded creators to collaborate with. With the uncertain future of AI, human connections are the only thing we have – don’t waste them!
Liberty, 25

If you’re doing something professionally, you can’t ask your friends for help repeatedly, even if they have done it before. If Marielle loves creating, that doesn’t mean everyone around her is content. She needs to respect Beth’s personal space.
Another reader, 26

Marielle might love making content and showing off her life publicly, but it’s not for everyone. It’s nice she has helped Beth’s career, but she needs to hear what her friend desires.
Emma, 27

It sounds like you care about each other, so cling to that and ensure it’s the focus in your relationship. Create some real experiences, where true emotions are stored, not online archives. In fact, celebrities who seem to share their worlds actually have more secrecy than it seems.
One opinion, 53

She seems to be neither present nor genuine when they're together – she’s working. Each appears unsure as to where the line is. The solution is not found in trying to change one another, but in each establishing clear limits around what is comfortable to them and determining if there is an mutually agreeable middle ground.
A final view, 71

Your Turn to Be the Judge

In an online poll: is Marielle over-exposing their friendship?